I don’t think of myself as traditionally romantic. I’ve never been one for grand gestures, as a little girl I never day dreamed about my perfect wedding and at some point shortly after the boyfriend and I got together I informed him that if he ever bought me flowers I would assume he’d done something wrong (to his credit – he never has).
That isn’t to say I don’t do things that could be construed as romantic; for example I once booked a surprise weekend in Las Vegas for the boyfriend’s birthday, however in my eyes that wasn’t so much romance as just a really good excuse for an awesome holiday. But it does mean that I struggle a bit with the annual lovey-dovey-hearts-and-flowers-slushfest that is Valentine’s Day. This year, sometime in early February the boyfriend and I were standing at the station at some ungodly hour of the morning waiting for the train to work, the following conversation ensued:
Him: What are we doing for Valentine’s Day this year?
Me: *shrugging* Nothin’?
Him: …ok
Me: We could just do cards if you want?
Him: Yeah, whatever.
(See, it’s good that he’s equally apathetic, it’s one of the reasons we’re a good couple)
So that was that decided. Only the small matter of finding a suitable card amongst the racks and racks of cheesy/sappy/allegedly funny/overwhelmingly pink (I don’t do pink) options available – bugger.
Still, I persevered and found one with a couple of cute sea otters on the front. I know it might not sound appropriate but I discovered a sweet fact about sea otters a while ago that I though counted as romantic – As they sleep floating in the sea, in order not to drift apart, sea otters hold hands while they snooze.

See – proof! And cute proof at that
So, card with cute otters – tick, adorable fun fact to write inside – tick, romance achieved, right?
Not quite.
The weekend before Valentine’s Day we were visiting friends and whilst we all sat around and chatted in the background the TV was showing a program about giant otters. I was only half watching but at some point the family of giant otters were attacked by an alligator (it may have been a crocodile; I don’t think I know the difference really and as I mentioned – I was only half watching). There was a lot of splashing and diving and thrashing around and I’m sure most people’s money would have been on the alligator, it was bigger and more obviously fierce (in the traditional sense of the word, not the Beyoncé sense) after all. But it was outnumbered, and the otters had cubs to protect, and apparently you don’t mess with a giant mummy otter and her pals – so the otters won!
The upshot of this is that not only did I write my cute sea otter fact in the boyfriend’s card; I also wrote this:
“PS. I’d totally kill an alligator for you”
It occurs to me (literally right now as I’m writing this) that if he keeps the card and at some future date someone else reads it, without this explanation that is going to look really, really odd.
So aaaaanyway – like I said; not traditionally romantic perhaps but I get points for trying right..?
Txx